.untitled.

..and at that point I acknowledged all my faults and I acknowledged what I have been doing wrong. And that was a huge step for me because I put all of my private side at that point. It doesn't have a conclusion, its stuck. Its right at that point where I'm saying, I'm trying to let go, I wish you would come back, this is what I did wrong. But, I know its not going to be fixed. Its not going to work out, but I'm just trying to deal with it. Every time I try to found the  word to say, what I thought would make things okay. I kept it all inside, slowly drowning in my pride. I never could admit my own mistakes, some how I thought things would fall into place. And I made a change, too late. So, here. Past all the lights, where everything is clear. Nothing seems to change how I love you and now you're going to leave. I'm just slowly dying here inside, trying to let go.

Maybe I just thought I had you here, I thought that you would not go anywhere. I abused my position, and I didn't care. And now that you no longer talk to me, and it seems that you got over me. I can hardly breathe, cause you no longer need me. I'm just sorry I found out late, but all the choices I make.. I thought of me and not how it would be to watch you walk away. I know I will never make it right, but everyday I try. In hopes you might come back, you're where my heart is at. I have to find a way. Every time I think of you, its hard for me to think of what I can do. I used to have you here beside me, I just want you here beside me. Sure, I can go on and act as if I'm okay and as if everything is alright. But then, my whole body is crying. I know I never told you why, I need you in my life.
Yours Truly ♥