There are those times when you feel like nothing could possibly go your way. You look outside and feel that there is no way the world is still spinning the way it was when you were happy once. You try so hard to get past the emptiness that you feel within your soul but know that nothing is ever going to be the same. You hate knowing that the one person so special to you doesn't feel even a fraction of the emotions that seep from you, and you wish that there was a way to tell him.
I;m lost, scared, alone and I can't take it anymore. And the way he treats me is destroying me. He makes mefeel like I mean so much to him but I feel that, that's impossible. He holds such a vulnerable thing captive and that thing is my heart/. He's so close to breaking it but so close to setting me free I'm willing to risk it. It hurts to be so torn between so many emotions. I wish it could all just stop. I know that you're happy and I want you to know that, when you're happy. I'm happy. Because I would do anything for you, because you mean so much to me. It hurts me to know that the one thing that brought a smile to my face and made me happy, is gone.
My love for you was so strong, and I was never in love with someone else as much as I was with you.
You want me to tell you the honestt truth? Yeah? Well, here it is. I dream about you every night. Okay maybe not every night. I spend endless afternoons thinking about you. Somedays, I don't think about you at all, but that's rare, because I usually don't go a minute without thinking about you, or seeing you in my mind. When I first met you, I never thought that I'd fall in love with you. For a few minutes you made me feel as though I actually meant something to someone. I know you;ve had enough. I know you're tired. I know you don't want to ever feel that way again. I am so sorry for everything. It was a stupid thing to do and I knew that even when I was doing it. I love you so much but when you got so angry, it drives me nuts. I know you don't mean anything by it. But I'm so insecure when it comes to your love. I'm still amazed that you didnt just tell me to get lost after disappointing, hurting you many times. I gave you a hard time. But now, you did. You're obviously exhausted. Sigh.
Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me f you and every song I heard somehow related to you. I hate days like today because they remind me of the one thing I don't have,. Its really painful to say goodbye to someone that you don't want to let go but its even more painful to ask someone to stay if they never wanted to stay. I'm holding on to someone that used to be there hoping it will come back, knowing it won't.
Yours Truly ♥
