Friday, November 8, 2013

Back on track.

Hey peeps! As you can see its been A YEAR plus since I  last blogged. Well today is the 8th of November 2013 and is a Friday. Here it goes. Throughout this year my life have been amazing steady. I've learnt so many things from many kinds of different people here in Kuala Lumpur. I am still the same old same old person like I was back then. Sure I'm a whole lot diff girl but there is surely some parts of me that doesn't change. This year I have been blessed with someone I could never imagine I'll be in a relationship with. But thank God, everything went well. I hope. I thought after an awful breakup, I could never love again. But then someone managed to open up my heart and make me see that there are better things out there for me. Life goes on. I was so blinded by tears and heartache back then and kept telling myself that my life is over. Typical teenager don't you think? Well not now, no more. She's not that girl anymore. I learned a lot from my past. Like really a lot. I'm 20 this year, yeah young. I am not going to go emotional on this but this year, although it seemed great but there are also heartaches. Of course, its normal. You know, getting into a relationship is never hard. Is trying to protect it, is hard. It would be such a waste if one is not making any effort. It takes two to tango, right? 

That's not the problem. 
But sometimes I feel like what I've been giving in is not enough, maybe its just me. I feel this way everyday. I don't want my other half to feel as if she's being abandoned or unloved by me, never. I will get up on my knees to give her my very best. Keep her happy, be everything she wants me to be. If I didn't reach her target then, I'm sorry. I'm only human, never perfect. Why? Because I was taught like this back in my past. I've loved and I've lost. I was down but I got up. I was taught to give my all to someone I love and not waste a single time spent. I cherish every moment. I appreciate every single efforts & every single tears roll down kills me. I was taught to open up and be open minded. Because I know I am the type who will get jealous very easily and always tend to start a fight. Besides that, I am also very hot tempered. But I'm the kind of person who swallows all her anger and just let it eat me up. Which what most people say is dangerous, right? I was also taught to roll away from my stubbornness. I was taught to have control over my anger. But sometimes being too careful is just going to hurt me. Though I was hurt in so many different ways, I refused to let that take over my head. Cause my heart wants it wants. I choose to look pass by all the negatives and focus on the positives.  And I don't mind. What we have is indescribably beautiful. I have flaws, and so does she. And I love every single bit of it. I love your flaws &all, Sayang. I know I can be very childish at times, but I love you for putting through all my lame attitudes. I love you for not giving up on me. I know how angry you can get at me, but you still choose to let your egos down and come back. When if it was some other people, they would prefer leaving. I hate fighting with you, although I was the one who started it at first. And I am not the kind to give up. My egos are pretty high too, and is still a work in progress. I tend to nag when I need your attention. I'm sorry for being such a baby. I'm sorry you have to keep up with my manjaness, jangan menyampah dengan ted please sayang. Its 1 o'clock in the morning and I couldn't think of anything else but you. I love you very much. I want you to know that.

"I don't know why you love me, and that's why I love you. You catch me when I fall, accept me flaws and all. And that's why I love you."

And that what makes our love beautiful. 010313 :)

Yours Truly.